I just got back in town after a 3 1/2 day (4 nights of getting 3 tots ready for bed) vacation with my dad and brother. I know it was a big chunk of time to be away and made both of us appreciate that I’m not a traveling salesguy (or traveling anything).
You were very supportive of the trip and I think you for that. You also did a great job in keeping things together while I was gone (not that I do a whole lot when I’m in town). Still, thank you for always holding down the fort wonderfully!
You’re a blessing to me and the kids. I hope you learn to see yourself more and more that way. You’re a tough chick. Learn to believe that you got everything in you to be a great mom. Whenever you get down on yourself, please know that whatever is causing the struggle is just a blip on the screen. God gave those little ones to us–for you to mother and me to father. He had to have given us the tools to do it. You are a great mom. Live in that and give yourself a break and continue to allow yourself to grow in it.
As you know (or will remember), I am going out of town w/ my brother and dad for my birthday. Yes. I’m leaving you home by yourself with our three little angels. I do hope to have fun, to relax, to reconnect. But I already am missing you just a bit. I’ve not left yet, so I don’t really miss you yet, but I feel it down in the lower left hand corner of my gut.
My prayer is this: That you will have the most peaceful 4 days possible with our little ones. That they will listen and not scream and throw tantrums. I pray that you will have help from my mom and your mom and that you won’t even know I’m gone from a labor standpoint. I pray that after the kids go down, that you’ll have sweet, peaceful alone time. That you’ll reconnect with God and yourself. I pray that my vacation is a sweet little mini-vacay for you.
Also, I pray that a similar trip pops up in your favor soon. I would absolutely give my left kidney (maybe a ball) for you to have a trip w/ girlfriends. So I pray for that opportunity for you–that your friends’ schedules and husbands will back off enough so that you can go for a chill weekend somewhere. You totally deserve it.
Anyway… I love you because I know I’m going to miss you.
Sure, yes, one might consider sitcoms a waste of time. And yes, maybe they can be a little salty depending on your personal stomach for raunch.
But my wife has the best belly laugh. I prefer it when she’s laughing at something I did or said (with, not at), but when we’re decompressing at the end of a day on our couch wearing the comfies, I don’t care what it’s about. Modern Family started yesterday, Big Bang Theory Tonight. I can’t wait to pop open the DVR and give it a watch and listen to her laugh.
I’ve had some rough days at work recently. There are a lot of things out of my control. There are a lot of opportunities but always enough time to hit each one of them when I need to. Quite honestly, there are times when I want to shut it down and go see a matinee and tell everybody I’m on a sales call. Or there’s always the impulse to ball up in a fetal position somewhere in my office.
But you and the kids are always in the back of my mind (at the very least). You’re my first and last line of defense. When I feel like giving in or up for a day, I remember you guys. It’s a subtle encouragement because you guys love, respect, and think I’m worth something. It’s also a reminder of the fact that I’m responsible to be responsible. For our kids, I also remember that I’m trying to build character into my life that will hopefully be a source of courage for them.
I know you believe in me and that helps me get over little humps of self-doubt, procrastination, frustration, and overwhelming inboxes and to-do lists. Thanks for being in my corner. I love you for that.
*Note: I’m correcting my earlier correction: Sometimes ‘you’ makes sense because some of these items are things I really want to say directly to her. Others fit into the category of having coffee or a beer with a friend and saying, ‘You know, what I love about my wife is…. Let me tell you how she….” So, I’ll mix it up.
If you saw her, you’d never know it. She inherited her dad’s scots-irish/british/german generally caucasion skin tones and hair (natural blond). Her mom’s side is Cuban with a great, rich history from that country. I need to write some of that down.
But since she’s half-Cuban, we get to eat black beans and rice and picadillo all the time. Black beans and rice make a perfect meatless monday. Without her, I never would have realized the glory of various takes on the dish (cook the beans w/ diced and sauteed onions, garlic, green peppers, cilantro, and jalapenos or serranos). A cold margarita and it’s on.
Picadillo: I never would have tossed ground beef, sliced green olives, and raisins in a dish and thought it would turn out good. It’s freaking delicious (with the right spice combos, of course). Sometimes Tina will make some dough and make empanadas out of it. Again, a cold margarita and it’s on.
Cuban sandwiches: There is a way to do these right. I never would have known without her guidance. See also beverage from earlier paragraphs.
By the way, I’m not sure if it’s the Cuban or the Irish, but I love she has a little fire in her, too. Even if it’s directed at my sorry butt.
I’ve not gone back through my other posts, so this might be a quick repeat. My apologies!
It’s been something I’ve felt a lot recently. I need you deeply. And not only in some screwed up codependent way! Since we’re all a little screwed up, I’m sure there’s some of that in there.
More than that, though, I need you to be strong when I’m feeling slightly weak and not able to do some of the things I wish I could do for the family. If you read this today, you’d know that we’re in the middle of a difficult time. You’d know that we’re just scraping by. You’d be asking me why I’m not selling something instead of typing out this blog post (mid-afternoon break).
I need your humor to lighten my spirits. I need your smile to assure me that you’re still in my corner. I need you just to be with me. I need to go write greetings cards for Hallmark.
More than anything, I need to swallow my pride more often and fully lean on you. I need to learn to share stuff about work or money or any kind of low I might be going through. I think my guy-ness or just my me-ness prevent me from wanting you to see me sweat. I always want you to think everything is just perfect and there are no worries. I bear it when I don’t need to because I have you. Why don’t I remember that?
So, one of the reasons I love you is because I need you. A lot. I need your wisdom and your input and your sweetness. I need you to share the load of things that I have no right to keep to myself–and things that, if kept hidden–i.e. money stuff or bad work stuff–for a long time might end up really wreaking havoc on our marriage.
I just plain need you.
Sometimes one of the biggest motivators to love you is because you need it. There’s often nothing tangible I can do or any gem of wisdom I can give to you when you’re in a funk. Just know that I’m totally in your corner. The result is that my attempts at being loving aren’t helpful in the moment. It’s best if I do nothing but listen. You can reprimand me if I try to dumb down your difficult moments with quick and assinine solutions.
I don’t know if you “feel’ the love, whatever that means in those moments, but please know that I’m thinking about you, praying for you, hoping for you that the day gets better, your heart is encouraged, etc. I apologize when I get exasperated at those times. That’s a “me” problem. If there is an issue that we need to talk about later, then I need to have the balls to bring it up, but in those moments, you need to know that I’m with you. I love you. Never forget that I’m there. More than that, don’t forget the presence of God with you in each and every one of your moments. He’s right there.
So… one of the reasons I love you is because you need the love from this fallen dude. We all need it sometimes, and I’ve been given the opportunity to be the one to provide it for you.