I’ve not gone back through my other posts, so this might be a quick repeat. My apologies!
It’s been something I’ve felt a lot recently. I need you deeply. And not only in some screwed up codependent way! Since we’re all a little screwed up, I’m sure there’s some of that in there.
More than that, though, I need you to be strong when I’m feeling slightly weak and not able to do some of the things I wish I could do for the family. If you read this today, you’d know that we’re in the middle of a difficult time. You’d know that we’re just scraping by. You’d be asking me why I’m not selling something instead of typing out this blog post (mid-afternoon break).
I need your humor to lighten my spirits. I need your smile to assure me that you’re still in my corner. I need you just to be with me. I need to go write greetings cards for Hallmark.
More than anything, I need to swallow my pride more often and fully lean on you. I need to learn to share stuff about work or money or any kind of low I might be going through. I think my guy-ness or just my me-ness prevent me from wanting you to see me sweat. I always want you to think everything is just perfect and there are no worries. I bear it when I don’t need to because I have you. Why don’t I remember that?
So, one of the reasons I love you is because I need you. A lot. I need your wisdom and your input and your sweetness. I need you to share the load of things that I have no right to keep to myself–and things that, if kept hidden–i.e. money stuff or bad work stuff–for a long time might end up really wreaking havoc on our marriage.
I just plain need you.