Why I Love Tina

I had deja vu as I typed this post’s title. I’ll have to go back to your birthday last year and see if I titled it the same… and as I look at the ‘permalink’ it appears this title was assigned a ‘2’, so yes, I’m repeating myself.

(I also want to apologize to anyone who might have received an unfinished version of this post)

Your Day

Yesterday was your birthday. First, I’d like you to recall what happened:

  1. You got sick: You had one of those nasty, every-part-of-the-body-aches colds (I had one two, but I could hang with grownups all day).
  2. I got up at 5am to bake you a cake.
  3. I don’t bake, so I over-filled the cake pans and now our house still smells like burnt, crusty cake (it looks like cake lava along the bottom of our oven).
  4. The cakes fell.
  5. While you were giving a…

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Because You Were Born

I had deja vu as I typed this post’s title. I’ll have to go back to your birthday last year and see if I titled it the same… and as I look at the ‘permalink’ it appears this title was assigned a ‘2’, so yes, I’m repeating myself.

(I also want to apologize to anyone who might have received an unfinished version of this post)

Your Day

Yesterday was your birthday. First, I’d like you to recall what happened:

  1. You got sick: You had one of those nasty, every-part-of-the-body-aches colds (I had one two, but I could hang with grownups all day).
  2. I got up at 5am to bake you a cake.
  3. I don’t bake, so I over-filled the cake pans and now our house still smells like burnt, crusty cake (it looks like cake lava along the bottom of our oven).
  4. The cakes fell.
  5. While you were giving a bath to two of our children, one of our sons (pardon the TMI) pooped on the steps and decided to track it upstairs.
  6. While you cleaned that poop, the other two started pouring cups of water out of the bathtub onto the bathroom floor.
  7. I think there were another two or three things that I’ve blocked out of my mind.
  8. Happy Birthday, right?

But after I got home, you were in such good spirits. It was you gave the bad stuff of the day the finger and said, ‘It’s my birthday, yo! You ain’ gonna ruin it!’

We proceeded to enjoy some margaritas and Cuban sandwiches—and the cake, for all it’s ugliness, tasted pretty good.

Glad You Were Born

I’d also like to take a moment to confirm to you how happy I am that our lives intersected when and where they did. Were you not born, there obviously wouldn’t have been that intersection. Birthdays always make me think of why people get where they are and all the events that lead up to where they are.

The wonderful thing is that all your twists and turns and all my twists and turns provided an opportunity for intersection. While we still twist and turn down our paths together, I always go back to that poolside at that going away party where you and I set in motion our relationship.

Back to your birthday: Happy Birthday! You are a gift. You were created—wonderfully and beautifully. You have a purpose. You are loved. You are a princess. You are precious.

Because You Stress over Whether It’s a Virus or a Bacteria

That headline sounds nasty.

Colds and flus are pretty nasty, so it’s appropriate.

You are a good Nurse Momma.  I hate it when the colds and ear infections do round robins around our home, but I love it that you are a good caretaker. I know it can be stressful because our little ones are extra ornery when they’re coughing and snotting. It’s stressful that they can’t quite understand that ‘blow your nose’ means to forcibly shoot air (and whatever it carries along) out of the nostrils, not suck air into the nostrils.

And then there’s that whole question about going to a doctor if it’s just a virus and not a bacteria (although sometimes I’d like them to give the antibiotic whether it’s a cold or a sinus infection).

I know that it’s no fun that they hurt and suffer… and that you and I then catch it and it adds fuel to the fire.

I just want you to know that I wish I could give you a sick day much more easily!

You got tough work. Thanks for doing it.

Love Dare Day 21: Love Is Satisfied in God

“Every day you place expectations on your spouse. Sometimes they meet them. Sometimes they don’t. But never will they be able to totally satisfy all the demands you ask of them—partly because your demands are unreasonable, partly because your mate is human.” —Love Dare, p. 102

I love that quote. I know for me that I’ve struggled at times with (a) wanting you to be perfection and (b) wanting myself to be perfection for you. It’s a losing battle. You will never be perfect. I for dang sure won’t be perfect.

We’ll both get better, but we won’t be perfect. And if I expect you to fill up all that is lacking in me, then I’m putting too heavy of a load on you. It is not your job to make up for my deficiencies, to prove that I’m worth something, to make me feel good all the time about everything.

I, also, will break under any pressure that I feel to try to satisfy every single thing that you might need. I’m just not equipped to do it and I’m not strong enough to bear it.

My loving you is not to be all things to you, but to serve you. My job is to be satisfied in God, myself, and help lead our home so that we ALL are satisfied in God first, then serve each other next.

I see four potential problems when we start putting ourselves or each other in front of being satisfied in God:

  1. My expectations of you: If I hold you to satisfy each and every need emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically, then I’m asking way too much. This can lead to stress on you and resentment in me.
  2. Your expectation of me: See above, but reverse the mess.;
  3. My expectations of me: If I expect myself to tend to each one of your needs, then I create false expectations and I fail to allow God to do what he’s supposed to be. Stress and resentment can creep in.
  4. Your expectations of you: I can’t speak to this. I’m not sure where you feel your pressure as it relates to me, but I would imagine it’s similar.

I’ve taken to writing a short prayer in my journal after my quiet times. A short, specific prayer for you. A short specific prayer for our kids. A short specific prayer for myself. I’m trying to take my hands off the wheel and scoot into the back seat.

I’m also trying to make sure that those quiet times happen daily so that I’m feeding myself and I’m becoming more and more satisfied in God. Let’s face it—that’s not been a strength of mine in recent years.

Love Dare Day 22 Preview: ‘Love is a choice, not a feeling. It is an initiated action, not a knee-jerk reaction. Choose today to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost most of their interest in receiving it. Say to them in words similar to these, “I love you. Period. I choose to love you even if you don’t love me in return.”’ I’ll do it. J

Because You Lay Down the Law

Yesterday I got a text from you:

Cuddles in bed tonight and watch our shows. No phone or computer….

I loved it.  It reminded me how important it is to silence the technology and focus on you and the kids. I know I’m not the only one in our house that does it (you love your laptop as much as the next young wife), but I need to control the tech addiction.

First, I need to stop checking work email when I come home. It ONLY causes stress.

Second, I need to quit worrying about other email and blog (outside of designated times) and social media. It can be overwhelming.

Third, I enjoy just hanging with you and the kids so much that it’s just fun to unplug.

I love you because you reminded me about these things.