8/30/14 – Day 216: Your patience knows no bounds…

We received, for our boys, bunk beds for Christmas, 2013.

Today is 8/30/14. I’m finally putting them together. You are one of the most patient women I know. I won’t even go into the hall bathroom project. Please forgive me for that!

Finally... the bunk beds

Finally… the bunk beds

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Because We’re Pinching Pennies

I pray that this is still mostly anonymous.

You and I are struggling a bit on the financial side of things. You’re patient with me as the chief financial provider. We don’t toss money aside on every sparkly, shiny new object. We never go out to eat. We hardly buy new clothes for ourselves.

We have a slightly higher TV package than we need. We send our boys (very cheaply) to a 2 day a week pre-school.

We have places we could cut. It wouldn’t make a huge dent, but we could cut here and there.

But it’s becoming a project–you and me against the debt-demons. You and me trying to be creative to find a bit of cash here and there.

First, I’m just so thankful that you don’t bust my balls all the time about it. You acknowledge that I work and try–that I’d even go back and work at the Cracker Barrel where I put myself through grad school. I’m selling bad records on ebay for goodness sakes.

Second, I trust we’ll get through this. My business will continue to improve. We’ll push through. I do need you. I need your encouragement and patience and help here and there, but we’ll get through it. And we’ll be thankful for whatever we learn.

Love Dare Day 1b – Love Is Patient

This time, I’m going to try to power through all 40 days as consecutively as possible. So far I’m on Day 23 after 5 months or so.

I won’t go on about Love Dare Day 1. I’ve covered it before.  As a matter of fact, I’m not even going to go back and read it today.

My commitment tonight after work:

1. I will not be passive-aggressive (I don’t yell directly at you that often, just behind your back about the way you fill the dishwasher).

2. I will be patient, but I will speak openly and honestly.

3. Just in case something touches me off, I will allow myself to remain calm.

So as not to tempt you to be impatient, I’m publishing and heading out. I promised a 5:30 arrival time.

I love you!

Love Dare, Day 2: Love Is Kind

*Note that these posts are typically written from me to my wife, so the ‘you’ referred to would be her, not you, the reader.

Love Is Patient

Yesterday I avoided saying anything negative. What I realized is that I can sometimes treat you like one of the guys, using smart alecky language and comments, joking around. But often that stuff is negative. Having ‘love is patient’ as the theme yesterday with the task of ‘avoiding all negative speech’ was so helpful to me. It caused me to pause, and it also helped me to be more patient with our kids at bed time–an oft trying period!

Love is Kind

The book gives kindness four attributes:

  • Gentleness
  • Helpfulness
  • Willingness
  • Initiative

Kindness isn’t about just being nice and sweet, it’s about action. It’s about my doing things when not told to do them (changing a diaper, getting the dishes done, folding clothes, etc. without your having to ask me for help). It’s also about being gentle and tenderhearted–it’s like the outward working of patience.

Today’s Challenge: Do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness today

This morning I let you sleep in a little later, but I don’t know how unexpected that was–or how intentional it was on my part. I see in my notes in the book that back in 2009, I declared you off duty when I got in for the day, thereby sending you (very happily) to our bedroom for some R&R.

Today, I do not know what I will do. Perhaps a couple baskets of folding laundry? Perhaps I’ll bake a loaf of apple bread just for your mom? A backrub? All of the above?  Hmmmmm…..

One thing is for sure: I need to continue the no negativity thing. You deserve to be built up by me, daily. Regardless of what you experience from your own inner dialogue or from others, you should find safety and encouragement from me.

We’ll see what I end up doing… if you happen to read this, I take suggestions. 🙂

Love Dare, Day 1: Love is Patient

 

Working through this book is so 2009, but it can’t hurt, right? I mean if Kirk Cameron made a movie about it, it will stand the test of time.

So, sweetie, I pause from my usual postings about reasons and moments that remind me how much I love you, to post a mini-journal as I go through The Love Dare. You don’t realize it, but I’ve done the first few days about 10 times, so here’s to finishing well this time!

Love is Patient

These are the first three words of the part of 1 Corinthians 13 that is often quoted at weddings (v 4 and following)–for good reason. The first thing that can go the longer in marriage (and parenthood) is patience. Even this morning,

I struggled with my patience and we’d said 2 words to each other (it was about one of our boys starting to stir and who should go get him before he woke boy #2).

The challenge: Say no unkind word. Say nothing negative. Be patient (and I have a feeling that very seldom are my witty smart aleck comebacks are justified).

My prayer: That I’ll feel the conviction of the Holy Spirit prior to responding or reacting. That I’ll respond in grace to everything. That I’ll love you (my wife) by how I speak to you and how I listen to you today.

Tomorrow: I’ll report back on this and tackle ‘kindness’–patience with initiative, perhaps?