Day 169 – Monday July 14th, 2014
Really, anytime our kids get a splinter it is the splinter of horror. They fear greatly the tweezers.
It’s seriously the most frustrating near medical procedure that we have to do. That and cut the boys’ hair – also an exercise in herding cats or juggling squirrels.
It is not an exaggeration to say that it always reminds me of those civil or revolutionary war medical scenes where the disheveled doctor digs out buckshot from a soldier’s behind.
Glad I was at work. 🙂
I can’t wait to get home. You just called crying due to some weird pull/strain in your neck.
I know… I should be getting in my car and not writing this post, but you won’t remember the neck situation. My loving blog gift to you, that’s another story. 🙂
Anyway, I’m on my way for fajita night and a movie and, due to your pain, an evening where I power watch some Netflix show you’re not into as you drift off to sleep on muscle relaxes/pain meds. No margarita for you, young lady.
Right now, your heart is breaking a little over something that is going on.
You question if you’ve handled things well. You’re hurting for a few other folks involved. You’re trying not to allow resentment and anger at others rule you.
I’m honestly at a loss for how to help you. I want to give you rest from it and a little distraction. I want to give you whatever wisdom I can. I want to listen.
My biggest prayer is for our family. That the five of us are protected and cared for. I pray for wisdom for me how best to lead us right now.
I pray for you. That you know and don’t forget Ps. 139:14
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful. I know that full well.
Like all of us–even me right now, you forget that you have been crafted. I forget that I was crafted. God made you. God knows your heart. God loves you deeply. You are His, above all else–more than you are mine. More than anybody’s words have power over you. You are His. His Words are the words that matter.
His Words say that you are a daughter of God.
His Words say that you were called out.
His Words say that you no longer live, but Christ lives in you.
His Words say that the meek will inherit the earth.
His Words can heal–want to heal.
You are special beyond special. You are precious beyond precious. I, even, am not worthy of the woman that you are. (not that I’m a piece of crap or some out of this world dude–just a guy trying to get better a little every day).
Be with Tina. Speak peace to her heart. Give her strength that she doesn’t think she has.
Every once in a while something triggers your pain.
It’s pain that I caused. The triggers sometimes have nothing to do with me. But they send your heart and mind back to some time late in 2009 when, well, you know what I’m talking about.
You mention that when you struggle, you want me to experience half the pain that I inflicted. While I have absolutely no defense and no right to compare, there’s not a day that doesn’t go by that I don’t sit for a bit in regret… even fear. I fear that I will never be the source of strength, trust, and comfort that I was hoping to be for you. Or that you’ll never allow me to be (again–who could blame you)?
Regardless, I love you. I cherish you. Most of the time, I think, you realize this and you believe it. Other times, not so much, but the other times are getting fewer and I’ve been doing a lot of growing. I pray when you get to this entry some time in the distant future that our marriage will be not only strong but a city on a hill: a source of encouragement, hope, and strength for others, maybe even others for whom the wounds are fresh.