Day 31 – One Month Down… Lifetime to Go

This is about as consistently as I’ve ever done anything in my life.

But this blog is supposed to be about you and not how awesome I am about keeping the blog. 🙂

It’s one month out of many that went before it and many, many more that will come after it.

My weird version of midlife crisis is going on around right now. I’m realizing how precious moments are. Each day comes, goes, and never comes back again. We either build a little something with that day or we tear something down a little bit.  I don’t think we get too many ‘things stayed the same completely’ days.

I pray, truly pray, that we have more ‘build a little something’ days vs. ‘tear things down’ days. I pray God helps me see what it takes to build something with you. To help me know the ways I should treat you and the ways I should love you and the ways we should challenge and stretch each other.

Our jobs are not to make all things easy. I need you to push me while you love me. I need to learn how to love you and encourage you to do the things in  your heart.

I love you, happy 1 month of The Falling in Love Project!

Because We’ve Been at This for 8 Years!

Today is our anniversary.  We’ve made it through 8 years.

You are a wonderful wife. You bring me joy. You help me to grow. You make me laugh.

You are a wonderful mother. You are creative. You are consistent. You are determined. You are loving.

We’ve been through a lot in these few years, and I’m thankful that we are still growing individually and together.

I know, for sure, that you have been used by God to help make me a better person: sometimes by your grace, sometimes by your encouragement, and, yes, sometimes by the fact that being married is hard work that requires us to allow the Holy Spirit to dig deep and change us.

You are lovely and beautiful. You make me smile. Sometimes life is a little stressful and hard. But it’s always worth it and it’s getting more and more wonderful.

I love you and look forward to what’s in store.

I don’t think I’ll risk losing the secrecy of this blog, so I’ll go ahead and post this picture. If you happen upon this and know us, feel free to contact me, but please don’t tell my sweet wife yet. 🙂

Happy Anniversary

Because Being Married and Being a Parent is Rigged

I’m not sure if this fits cleanly into the ‘Why I love you’ formula, but I thought about it this morning at my men’s Bible study.

Many people approach marriage and being a parent as the next thing that will make them happy.

How many people have thought…

If only I were married, then…

If only we had kids, then…

The ‘then’ is often something along the lines of ‘then I’ll be fulfilled’ or ‘then I’d be happy’ or ‘then I’d find my purpose.’

While those might be true to some excuse, I’ve found that being married and being a parent doesn’t lead to glorious bliss and self-actualization.

The institutions of parenting and marriage were created by God not only for our pleasure and to populate the planet and whatnot, but also to refine us.

Refiners Fire

The ‘then’ to me is ‘then God will show me what it really means to love someone and where I need to allow Him to change me.’

I say being married and being a parent is rigged in that those who think it’s all about their fulfillment forget that God set the deal up. And while He’s concerned with our joy and our ability to love and be loved and create decent human children, He also is concerned that we become the people He created us to be.

Marriage and parenting are simply two of His tools to do so (see Eph 2:10).

I love you because God knew what I needed. So He gave me you and our children, not only to love and cherish, but to do some of His refining and sanctifying work through you.

Because We’re Growing

Both of our anniversary cards said things to the affect that ‘Our lives are crazy, but in the middle of all that, I love you, adore you, want to grow old with you, smoochy, smoochy.’

It’s the ‘grow old’ part that gets me. We’re not just growing older, but we’re growing. Because we’re growing and trying to become better people, we get better at loving each other.  I feel like today, 5/16/11, I know how to better love you than I did 5/16/2005, the day we got married.

Because we’re growing, we don’t mistake ‘no arguments’ for marital perfection. We don’t mistake ‘quiet’ for ‘peace.’

For me, I’m growing because I no longer worry nearly as much about my personal self-actualization. My highest calling is husband and dad.  The work and career piece? Those are important but not top billing.  That little growth doesn’t sound like much but whereas in the past if I couldn’t decipher what I was to be doing with my life, then I’d go into little mental tailspins. Now, I’m learning that what I’m doing with my life is loving you and our kids.  The other piece is in perspective and can morph as God sees fit to clue me in.

So, I love you because we’re growing. I love you better because I’m growing.  And I love watching you grow.