Because You Put Santa to Shame

You already finished our Christmas shopping!

How wonderful it is for me to have someone who runs a household like  a well-oiled machine. Last night, you walked me through all the presents you got for the kids.

It’s great to know that where I am weak, you are very, very strong (as far as talents, personality style, gifts, etc.).

So thankful we’re done – that you made us done – with our Christmas purchases. I look forward to enjoying the rest of the season in a bit more relaxed way!

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Love Dare, Day 3: Love is not selfish

I decided (maybe had it decided for me) that I shouldn’t write the post before I actually do the thing, but after. It might carry more weight.

The dare for yesterday: In addition to avoiding negative comments, buy your spouse something that says you were thinking of her.

I bought Junior Mints and Twizzlers.  I also went to the fabric store to check on the possibility of putting a sewing machine on layaway, but I realize this isn’t 1982. I’m not sure if layaway is an option anywhere anymore outside of K-Mart.

The four bullet points that authors Stephen and Alex Kendrick offer are:

  • Do I truly want what’s best for you?
  • Do I want you to feel loved by me?
  • Do you believe I have your best interests in mind?
  • Do you see me as looking out for myself first?

Well, I feel like I come through these items with flying colors. But if I dig deeper, my answer isn’t so simple.

I feel like I want the best for you, but my actions don’t always have your best in mind. Sometimes, I have my own comfort in mind. Sometimes I have my own agenda. Sometimes I manipulate a situation. Sometimes my acts of kindness have some secret, hidden motive—sometimes it’s an accidental hidden motive.

The point is that I can work on 1 and 2: wanting the best for you (which I honestly feel I do, but I get lazy in my actions) and wanting you to feel loved by me—even BE loved by me.

On points 3 and 4, I can’t know unless I ask you. Do you believe I have your best interests in mind? Do you see me as looking out for me first, then you and then the kids? (We did have a little tiff recently that indicated that you might feel like I’m pretty caught up in my own world and priorities—and I’ve had that as a point to work on since then).

So not being selfish is the goal, buying something for you is the dare. I bought you candy. I wanted to buy a sewing machine.  On the sewing machine, my motive is simply this: To affirm your desire to create and learn a skill that you’ve been wanting to learn for a good long while now.

What I probably need to work on more:

  • Watch how I use my time.
  • Watch how I act at home.
  • Watch to see if I fade into my own little world vs giving myself to you and the kids.

Those are probably more helpful than a gift, although, let’s face it, gifts are awesome.

Today’s challenge: Love is Thoughtful—Contact your spouse sometime during the day with no agenda except to ask how things are going or if there’s anything he/she needs. 

Challenge Accepted. 🙂