If my words aren’t a worthy demonstration of my love. If my words fall on deaf ears. If my words do not suffice and aren’t in your ‘love language’ of acts of service, than let my sad efforts to install a new toilet ring out from the mountaintops….
I LOVE YOU!!!!!
Yes, the fact that I’m going to go back into the ring or the octagon or whatever ultimate fighting/MMA/WWE/Championship Boxing venue you prefer should be proof and evidence of my affection.
The toilet took the first round by way of water leaking slowly out the back (after seeming perfectly installed). After all the bolt tightening and lifting and wax ring placing and paying the plumber to install the new flange (and two trips to Home Depot last night – and a bunch more on other occasions), leakage.
I said a cuss word or two under my breath, but then I asked the question I’ve been asking myself a lot: Would I want my kids to handle frustration the way I’m handling it now? Probably not. So… I slept on it.
For you, tonight, honey, I will do this thing again. I pray it works so we don’t have to sell plasma to hire a plumber to do it for us (roughly $150 from what I know).
If anybody who reads this besides my wife sees anything horribly wrong about the set up on the floor, let me know. Those are my toes, by the way.
That might be a little dramatic, but I do know that life in general–parenting, always giving emotionally what is needed to a spouse, living life in general–will always have ups and downs.
It can be a major relational blow up.
It can be a child going through a stage of temper tantrums (which happens to be the case in our world right now–mostly yours since you’re home with him every day).
Now, this isn’t a post to say, “It’ll always be this way, so get the heck over it.”
But it is to say that we best get used to it. I have a feeling dealing with a four year old’s tantrums is nothing compared to the glare and the smart-aleck comments of a 14 year old. I could be wrong, but I have a feeling it will be much more piercing and even personally painful when our teens turn on us here and there.
So, these days… it’s practice. It’s like doing drills. We lose our wits and yell every once in a while, we can figure out why. I was impatient this morning with our daughter. I was simply frustrated because of financial issues. That’s not her fault. That has little to do with her. It’s my stress and I was short with her because, well, I had the opportunity to be.
It wasn’t right. I’ve got to learn to deal with my mess in the right way. That’s just part of it.
And I never want you to lose faith in your goodness as a mom or a wife when you get frustrated. We will always have awesome fun times and, most likely, we’ll always have less than awesome moments. That’s life. That’s parenting.
I’m glad i’m doing it with you. You help me grow. I hope I help you here and there. And more than that, I hope you feel like I’m in your corner–that I’m your biggest fan.
I love you.