I feel like I need to sit on this dare for a while.
Love seeks to understand. There are moments when it seems like I really need to share more than I do, but in the end, I need to create safe space for you to speak your heart and your mind.
But this dare isn’t about my working through that particular issue. This dare is about you. It’s about my understanding and seeking to understand and being a student of you.
And why is that important? Because you are important. You are precious. You are a gift. You are worth hearing and listening to. You are wise. You have important things to say. Plus I just plain love you. And I’m called to hear you and listen to you.
If husbands love wives like Christ loves the church and He hears our prayers, how much more should I become better at hearing your heart?
I’m scared at what I might hear sometimes, but that’s a ‘me’ problem. 🙂
So… until I have the dinner that is called for in this dare (I’m supposed to cook for you, and I’m sure you won’t remember when this dinner took place because my goal is that you don’t see this blog until 5/14/2015 (our 10 year anniversary).
My goal.. my desire to make good on this dare, as I mostly laid out yesterday:
- Ask you questions: Good questions and not just one, but follow up questions. I’m not gonna let you wiggle off the hook. Not that you’re a worm that I’m going fishing with, but you get the picture.
- Listen to you: I’m not going to cut you off. I’m not going to go after a distraction.
- Pray: See God for better understanding if I don’t get it or if something you says touches something off in me.
- NOT solve problems unless you ask me to: I’m going to hold my tongue as long as possible in the solution area. There’ll be plenty of time for that later.
The point of understanding
You’ve suggested before that you, in the past, didn’t think your words or opinion mattered. Your emotions might get cut off. You might not feel totally heard or validated.
I want you to feel the complete opposite with me. Period.