We watched this on Day 54 (which happened to be a Friday night).
You fell asleep. I cried near the end.
I loved watching the love between a father and his daughter.
But I was sad when the father was so broken that he couldn’t return his daughter’s love with a longer life.
My heart broke and while I watched, I couldn’t help but wonder what I… not as a banker, but as an insurance man… can do to prevent myself from falling into the wrong mindset. The dad in the movie was, more or less, in a cage. It didn’t have to be a cage, but the bank became that for him. It’d be easy for me to allow this insurance agency to become a cage for me.
I won’t let it happen. Because of you. Because of our girl. Because of our two boys.
Do we enjoy food too much?
Chicken Philly sandwiches are kind of close to my heart. We used to get them at Barnacles with a big Caesar salad for takeout when we lived in the townhouse. Or we’d get wings.
But now, we make these bad boys ourselves just like we like them. And they always come right on time.
Depending on where we are in our lives when you finally read this, I might still be in the ‘taking pictures of the food while I cook as if I’m a food blogger’ phase. Or I might have decided I don’t have enough room on my iphone and nobody really cares anyway.
These days, though, I’m happily in that phase so here’s a picture of our Philly:
Maybe it’s a first world problem, but you know, I don’t care.
We have plenty to eat and a mostly safe place to sleep and access to health care. So yes, we do have it good.
But then there is this other thing. The thing where we do have plenty to eat and a place to stay, but the constant demands that those things require of us can become overwhelming. It’s our fault mostly, but still it is what it is.
And then there’s scheduling and work commitments and comparison traps and school forms to be signed and so forth and so on.
Life comes at us from every direction and quite frankly, I just want to sit and let it pummel me sometimes.
I love you and in a way kind of miss you. I texted you that we need to have a date, but I’m not sure how to pull it off in the next couple days. We need it though. We need to shut the firehose of stuff for just a few moments, maybe a couple hours and go get a sandwich and take a walk.
You and I need to connect. We really need this.
Whether good or not, we love comfort food.
We especially love comfort food on a cool night, supplemented by a crackling fire in the fireplace.
On this particular day, we were all in. Sloppy Joes, fire, a couple of sitcoms.
There are times that I forget that I’m knee deep into this ‘Falling in Love (Deeper) Project‘.
When I’m in that mode, I focus on everything that would make my life more comfortable:
- Dinner completed when I get home
- Children completely well-mannered and serene when I arrive
- House completely tidy
- Tile project done
- Plenty of money in the bank
- etc. etc. etc.
The ball starts rolling downhill and it’s no good. I become self-centered and selfish and passive-aggressive. I focus on me. I focus on my wants and ‘needs’.
Day 50 (Monday – 3/17/14) was this way for me. I remember having a horrible attitude. I was a pain in the neck.
And I was a pain in the neck when you, literally, had a recurrence of your recent neck issue. You were upset and frustrated and in pain. And I was worried about some stupid dish being on the counter (probably, knowing me).
My purpose and goal at home should, at all times, be this: To love you and the children at all times. That won’t mean being a pushover, but it will mean having a heart that is turned toward you and our little ones. It will mean having a soft, tender heart that is bent toward serving and caring.
I’m not perfect, and I’ll probably be a jerk at some point today, but may God, through the Holy Spirit, continue to change me and help me not only to be in love with you, but to love and serve you consistently and in the way that you need.
Honey… while you were gone on the campout with our daughter? All Sunday? You know what happened at our house?
I did laundry and let our boys completely vegetate out on their Nooks. I’m a horrible dad. Seriously. I need a training course or to read a book or to grow a pair and simply turn off the electronics.
Actually, that last option seems like the best option. Just make them turn them off. They’ll figure out something to do. If I don’t make them turn them off, then, eventually, they won’t know how to figure out how to do other stuff.
But at least I got all the laundry done and had the house nice and clean for you and our little girl when you got back from a camping trip which, apparently, was a continuous loop of Let it Go from Frozen.
Speaking of Frozen, it just came in the mail. Do you know how excited I am! 🙂 (I seriously am).
You took our daughter camping (or cabin-ing) with her Girl Scout Troop.
The boys and I sorely missed you! They asked me about every 23 minutes when you were coming home. It’s like they were asking ‘Are we there yet?’ on a trip to Disney World.
But we made it through, even though my coffee maker died (RIP Herr Krups). I dropped them off at an all girl birthday party (since it was our friends) at a place called Farmhouse in the City. The boys were quick to point out when I picked them up that it wasn’t a real farm. No horses. No cows. No pigs. No farm.
That said, it was a cute place. Definitely better for the young girl set, I think.
On other notes, I went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond during the party to look for a new coffee maker. I came home with a Nutribullet – because what we need right now is to spend $1,000s on fruit and veggies so we can eek out a few smoothies. Perhaps all my ailments will leave me, so it’ll be worth it for sure.
I loved getting those pictures from you while you were bonding with our daughter. So cute around the fire and in front of the cabin. I love my little ladies!