This one is a doozy.
It’s not about being responsible in the sense of doing chores, making enough money to pay bills, showing up on time, etc.
It’s about taking responsibility. It’s about fessing up. I’ll let the dare speak for itself:
Take time to pray through your areas of wrongdoing. Ask for God’s forgiveness, then humble yourself enough to admit them to your spouse. Do it sincerely and truthfully. Ask your spouse for forgiveness as well. No matter how they respond, make sure you cover your responsibility in love. Even if they respond with criticism, accept it by receiving it as counsel.
I need to do step one: Take time to pray. Right at the moment, I have nothing major to bring to you (which is refreshing).
Of course, there are small things. Attitudes, words said off the cuff, and lazy actions (or lazy inaction) that need to be dealt with. Intentions that aren’t followed through on like leaving work at a certain time.
There are some things in the past that we’ve dealt with (so I think) that perhaps need to be acknowledged again and talked about. I don’t know. That’s why I need to start at prayer.
Regardless, I know that I need to lead here. I”m called to love you like Christ loves the church, but one thing He never had to do was to take responsibility for wrongdoing. Sure he took responsibility for all of our wrongdoing, but He never had to confess His own.
I can’t take a model from Him. But I can practice confession. I can practice anti-excuse-making. I can practice telling the truth and keeping my word and living transparently and serving you. Those things will make being ‘Responsible’ a practice, not a one time event.
I love you and happy almost Independence Day.