I’m not sure if we’re another year wiser. But we are embarking on a new year. New years always feel like fresh starts. At least for the first week.
My hopes for us this year:
- That I communicate better with you: I struggle with wanting to protect you from my own emotional highs and lows–especially anything that might anger, scare, or otherwise cause you anxiety. I need to realize I’m your husband. We need me to be better at this. If you respond in any of those ways, then I need to suck it up and deal with it. If learning to have better reactions to things is an area where you need to learn, then I’m doing you a disservice by hedging.
- That I pour my creativity into you: We fellows can sometimes use our creativity at work and with projects. A lot of times, these things are tangible and easy. My desire is for you to know that I spend my mental and emotional energy on romancing and loving you. You deserve that from me. And I want to give it to you. When I’m doing it, I feel so alive.
- That we have fun together without the TV: Like a bunch of other Americans, we tend to love the couch and other things with screens. You started our card games right before the new year. I look forward to that. I look forward to figuring out other things to do. This will involve the aforementioned creativity.
- That we grow spiritually together: I’ve always wanted to be a better spiritual leader. Sometimes I forget, sometimes I choose not to because I don’t want to be confronted with having to maintain spiritual leadership. Leadership doesn’t start and stop with a quick devotional and prayer time. I need to lead our home in encouraging character–starting with myself. I’m sorry where I’ve been lazy here.
- That we get out of debt: This might require some major sacrifices. We might need to make them. We might need to drop cable. We might need to reconsider putting our children in private pre-K. We might need to eat more beans and rice. At the very least, we need to keep track of where the money is going. We need to be content with what we have. As you said in your goals for the year, we don’t need to buy things to make each other feel good (or better).
- That we go easy on ourselves in the parenting department: We both stress here. May we set boundaries, enforce the best we can, do our best not to frustrate our kids unnecessarily. We also need to be strong for each other when needed. Sometimes, you’re overly frustrated, sometimes I am. We need to be quick to take over.
Mostly, sweetie, I want to get better at giving you what I’m called to as a husband. I take pleasure in that. My prayer is against any complacency in me. I can get lazy. I can get frustrated.
Above all, I want to make you feel like the most precious being alive. My responsibility isn’t your self-esteem or your psyche. But it is to love you.