Inspired by your intention for us to start going through The Love Dare daily devotional, I decided to go back to going through The Love Dare. I’m on Day 12 (again).
Today’s Dare: Demonstrate love by willingly choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you and your spouse. Tell them you are putting their preference first. -p 59.
Reading through this dare, I remembered that I’m relatively good at this. I’m not perfect. I get uptight about silly things like how the dishwasher is loaded. I sometimes want certain things around the house done a certain way, but I also normally don’t stress about it.
Do We Believe the Best or Expect the Worst?
That said, the dare also reminded me of Andy Stanley’s Staying in Love message series, especially #4. Stanley talks about managing the gaps between our expectations about each other’s behavior.
In other words, if one of us is late, do we assume the worst–that the other person was inconsiderate and lazy or do we believe the best that they really tried to get home on time, but traffic was bad or some other thing happened? It’s a world of difference if we tend toward one or the other.
Letting you ‘win’ is less about being right. It’s more about being merciful. It’s about trusting that your heart is inclined toward me. If I’m really upset about something, then it’s up to me to speak calmly with you about it. But in general, I need to choose the best that when you say something that I feel might be an insult, that maybe you mean something else. I don’t have to assume you have an ‘angry’ tone in a text.
You Can Be Right or You Can Love
Also, I heard someone say this: You can either be right or you can love? Which is more important?
If I’m so hell-bent on being right and on winning and defending myself, then I’m not making room to make loving choices. If I’m your husband, it’s more important for me to love you… not be right.