Love is not Selfish (Love Dare Day 3)

As I’m trying to go back through the Love Dare in a more conventional 40-50 days, I reread Day 3 (both in the book and my original post on the topic).

I loved this quote:

Why do we have such low standards for ourselves but high expectations for our mate? the answer is a painful pill to swallow. We are selfish.

Now, I don’t always feel selfish, but I know that it’ll take a lifetime time to ferret out all the gunk in my motivations behind everything that I do.

Acting Selfish vs. Being Selfish

I might do nice things or even beautifully selfless things, but is my heart always in the right place?

I suppose I could ask myself some questions:

  1. Why am I going the extra mile here?
  2. What do I feel if my efforts aren’t reciprocated?
  3. What do I feel if you don’t respond with verbal (or other) appreciation?
  4. Am I doing this to (a) get something, (b) pay penance, or (c) because I’m just truly, honestly being selfless and loving?

I’m sure somewhere in the middle of all of that is the truth. It’s a growth thing.

The fun thing about today’s dare is that it entails that I purchase something for you. We’ll see. Where we are financially right now, you might prefer that I don’t spend any extra money.

I did give blood yesterday and gave you the cool insulated American Red Cross cup that they gave me. Let’s go with that. We’ve been exchanging a lot of gifts lately. Perhaps I can do something unselfish tonight while you’re at your mothers of multiples meeting?

That would be nice of me. We’ll see. i’ll try to report tomorrow.


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