To love your spouse like Christ loves the church is not possible without the love of Christ flowing through. I get that. But I better be careful here.
It could be misunderstood to mean that I find it impossible to love you. I don’t. You do inspire me to love you. You are fully lovable and worthy of my affection.
The impossibility of love has little to do with you. It’s all about how I, as a person, am not capable of sustained selflessness. I have to grow in it. I have to get better at being selfless.
I have to submit my life to Christ and live in light of the cross in all relationships, especially with you. If I die to myself, then I can get close to it.
My prayer today was that I love you in a way that you need it from me. Of course, this was immediately tested because you called me in the midst of a dizzy spell. I felt a little hopeless and completely unable to know how to best be there for you at the time.
Like a dude, I started spouting out ‘helpful’ suggestions. I felt like maybe I needed to listen and just be there with you on the phone for a bit, but I honestly didn’t know how.
Like I said I need to grow in this. I need to get better. I need to die daily to myself and allow the love of Christ flow through me. I need His example of how he loves the church to be my source. I need the Holy Spirit to be my Counselor and to fill me with the necessary skills.
So… Love is impossible. While we all have our moments—I know both of us can have our difficult moments at times—you’re fully worthy of and a total joy to love.
What is possible is that I can submit better. I can realize that I’m not entitled to anything, yet I’ve been giving way more than I deserve.
I love you and hope that you are confident in that. What I realize with this dare is that I can live a very self-centered life. I pray today for God to shed me of that so that I am truly a selfless husband.