The thrust of this day’s dare is the idea that we should be completely free within our marriage to be fully known by each other. The promoting intimacy piece is to create an atmosphere of encouragement and support so that we can share without fear of being shamed, ridiculed, judged, or otherwise emotionally wounded.
The You Side of Intimacy
I’ll be completely honest: I don’t know if you have any secrets that you are nervous about. If you do, I guess I don’t know them. You don’t seem to have any horrible skeleton in your closet, some sin or past screw-up that you’ve hidden for fear of what I might think.
For you, I can only promote intimacy by encouraging you to fess up to your current fears and insecurities, to own the things that trouble you so you feel comfortable enough to share them with me.
The Me Side of This
You pretty much know my junk. It sucks being the dude with junk – for that I’m sorry.
Perhaps I can promote more intimacy by being willing to walk you into my past here or there if necessary. I do relate to Day 17 in that ‘Each of us comes into life with an inborn hunger to be known, loved, and accepted.’
I need to allow you to know, love, and accept me, warts and all. That’s on me. I don’t want to dump baggage (it’s really not a bunch of big huge train trunks, but still).
I will continue to intercede and look out for areas where I need to allow you to share freely the things that are difficult for you. I want to be a safe place for you to be as open with me as you want to be.
Forgive me where my reactions have made you feel small or fearful of being fully known to me.
Day 18 Prep: Love Seeks to Understand. The dare includes prepping a fancy dinner for the two of us and focus on talking about things that we rarely talk about. Dare accepted. I love cooking and I think you have a hair appointment which should give me a chance to put a nice spread together.